WebMD and ME in the same sentence?

Well let's just jump right into this! I received a message from a friend who runs one of the food allergy networks that I am part of in Atlanta. She asked me if she could pass on my contact information for an interview. Honestly I didn't think to much about it (and maybe it was because there was so much going on that day)! I said, no problem, and went on with my day. I received a phone call later on that afternoon/early evening from a lady named Pam. Again, not thinking anything about it, I told her that I was on my way to workout, and that I would call her back later if it took longer than 15 minutes. She said, oh no, this will only take a couple of minutes. Again, not really thinking anything about it, because, well she is only going to ask a couple of questions. Well, she did ask a couple of questions, and then at the end followed up with, "If it is ok with you, we would like to go ahead and film you for this interview." And my response was, "Oh, this wasn't the interview!" Seriously, I was clueless apparently! And then of course, I started cluing in more, and asked, now who are you with again...

Let's pause a second... I have been asked over the years (probably 10) to interview for a newspaper article, tv show, piece on food allergies, etc. I have had phone calls from people that have asked just to talk to me because they are/have been just recently diagnosed with food allergies, etc. So really, when I received the call, I just thought it was another person that just wanted a personal experience, interview to answer some questions... no big deal... right???

Ok, back to the story... So who are you with again? Oh, I am a video producer for stories for WebMD, and we are wanting to do a piece about an adult who has severe food allergies. I just about dropped the phone... SERIOUSLY.. and not only that... I remember the day she called... it was a Thursday. She then said, I think that I could pull together a crew for Sunday afternoon if that works for you. Of course in my head I said yes... but I was now counting hours that there were between Thursday night and Sunday afternoon, and well... there wasn't many! 

Ready or not, Sunday afternoon came, and there it was... Camera, lights, mic, producer and all... yep... this is real... this is really happening... 

 Oh yea, that would be me, just sitting in the hot seat ready for the questions!

 I think I was explaining here how I was pretty much terrified that I was going to fall... but that I would do the best that I could to walk normal ... in heels...in the "woods."

At the end of the questions, and the several takes that took place with outside shots and kitchen shots, it was over.... just like that. If you asked me what I said, I don't know. If I think about it now, I can remember a lot of things, but really I just tried to not think ahead. I just wanted to be in the moment, and soak it all in. And that is exactly what I did! I remember questions, and I remember most of my answers, but really what I hoped after is that I conveyed everything that I was hoping to... to really show me... my journey...

So a majority of you have no clue this even happened. Because I didn't say anything! There were so many logistics, but all of this happened last fall. But guess what, the video came out, and I couldn't be more thrilled with how it turned out! The producer, Pam, was able to capture me... somehow in 2 and a half minutes of the 3 hours they were here, she did it.

If someone would have told me 10 years... wait... 5 years ago... that I would be interviewed by someone from WebMD about my journey with anaphylaxis, I would have laughed and said, yea right... 

This experience though... really there are no words...

It is my hope and prayer that you will be able to watch this video and be encouraged with whatever place you are in, in your life, and know that there truly is hope. Share the video with someone! We never know who needs that encouraging word! You need someone to talk to about what you are going through? I am here! I will listen! I have been there... in more words than a 2 and half minute video can share!

Below is the link to the video... It can also be accessed through the WebMD site--> allergies-->videos (right hand side with resources)

I am truly humbled and honored because I am so undeserving of this opportunity, but I am beyond thankful, more than words could ever say...

Enjoy...

http://www.webmd.com/allergies/life-threatening-reaction-16/video-anaphylaxis-personal-story

Always Going,
Never Giving Up,
Trusting,
Loving,
Believing

Adding in Food??? Is this possible???

Well.. It is about that time...

Allergy Tests...

So what does all this mean, and what to do from here...

About 2 weeks ago, I have some updated allergy testing done. Honestly I was dreading going into it, because I just didn't want to do it. I really didn't see the point. I have been doing this for so long, that my thinking was, is a test really going to change how I do things, or change my life?

Well, the tests came out very interesting... most of the things where still positive, but overall my numbers have decreased. Which is pretty amazing considering I'm 30 years old... nothing should really be changing for me, since they have all been there since I was a child, and never improved.

Well guess what came out negative? Fish! Salmon in particular... so the next step is Open Challenge!

Today's the day... the final test to determine if I can start adding fish in my diet! Honestly, of all the things that I am allergic to, it would be nice to add fish into my diet, just because of health reasons! Fish is such a good protein to have in your diet!

As you can see from the picture below... and 5 hrs later... I PASSED!!! Woohoo!!! I would have never thought that I would be sitting here, writing a blog post about passing a food allergy test, but it has happened! It really is a miracle, especially at 30, to be ADDING something to my diet... I have never been able to leave a doctor's office saying that I can ADD something back into my diet!!! I am excited... a little nervous, but overall looking forward to the beginning of adding fish into my everyday life!!! 

Something that I have learned through this whole thing though is... It didn't really matter what the tests show... I love who I am, and who God made me to be... food allergies and all! I have been focusing on exercise, and eating healthy! 

Thankful and Bummed...

Thankful and Bummed…

For those of you who didn’t know, I qualified for a medication 10 years ago, called Xolair. It is for my asthma and allergies. Won’t go into all the details of it, but it was an incredible blessing just to get on the medicine in the first place! It took so much testing and waiting and praying. I go to the doctor 1 time a month to get 2 shots. Like I said before, I have been doing this for almost 10 years now.

I met with my doctor back in November, and he wanted to take me off of it for several months so that we could do updated allergy testing. I have been doing so well on it, so the thought of getting off of it was so scary, but I do trust him, and I am thankful for having the same doctor all these years!

So we agreed April would be a good time to stop, and then get testing done in August, to see if my allergies have gotten any better, maybe even grown out of some! (I have to be off the medicine for awhile for it to fully get out of my system. It will skew the results of my allergy testing when on it, to make it seem like my allergies are essential not as severe).

So now we are in July.  For the first little while I felt good, really good! Continued with my workout routine, even upping my workouts, and overall just doing well! I  was pretty excited! I could tell that my nasal allergies started increasing about 3 weeks ago, so after about 2 months of being off of the Xolair, I started taking Zyrtec again (which I stopped taking well over a year ago), which has helped some. Last week I noticed my asthma starting to flair up, so I made sure I had an updated inhaler, because I honestly don’t use my inhaler, because I don’t need to.

And then it happened, what I was hoping wouldn’t happen, but it did. I had an allergic reaction last night. Thankfully it wasn’t bad, but benadryl and inhaler were used (so glad I got an updated one last week!). I am pretty sure it was a cross-contamination thing that I ate (at home), still trying to pin point it.  I had a reaction last year, but I knew that was a direct contact with eggs- not eating, but contaminated service, and again, didn’t require a hospital visit, just benadryl and a sleepy Aimee. J Other than last year and now this time, I haven’t had to take benedyl of have any type of reactions in a very long time (I’m talking years, which for someone who went to the hospital several times EACH year, this was life changing stuff!)

So what am I taking from all of this…

1.     Was this a bad reaction? Absolutely not! That for which I am very thankful! I have had way worse, but of course those hives sure are no fun!

2.     I was thankful before to have been on the Xolair, and I continue to be thankful for the medicine!

3.     I’m bummed… yep, I said it… bummed…I wasn’t thrilled about doing testing again, because it goes one of 2 ways- 1: you grew out of something 2: you didn’t grow out of anything. For me I have accepted it. I have accepted my allergies, I have accepted that this is part of who I am! It doesn’t define me, just part of me!  For me, it is opening old wounds… old wounds that I haven’t had to deal with in a long time. For anyone that suffers with allergies there will always be a part of them, hoping, praying, wishing, that they would all go away! But I accepted a long time ago, that mine wouldn’t, I would have these things for the rest of my life. And the thing about it is, that I am ok with it, I have been ok with that for a long time!  It is just the fact that I have to face it again, be reminded again… it hurts, and well, it is just a bummer.

So yes, I am incredibly thankful: for doctors, for modern medicine, for a support system. But I am just feeling a little bummed: I know this to shall pass, and I will continue to thrive, just how God made me to thrive, but He knows too… just bummed.

Will continue updating over the next couple of months as to how things are going!

Always Going,
Never Giving Up,
Trusting,
Loving,
Believing

I'm that Girl...

I’m that Girl

Over the last month or 2 I have really been on a journey to figure out who I am , what I am about, and where I am going. And right now I feel like it is on the fast track…. Really fast… yes I have my job as a teacher and other things I do on the side, but what am I doing to take care of myself, so that I can do my job the absolute best that I can.

So I am that girl that is doing Crossfit… yes, you read that right, Crossfit. Do I know that just by saying those words you might be thinking lots of different things, yes, and that is ok. Crossfit has gotten me to a place where not only am I accountable, but I am surrounded by a community that cares about me, and wants me to be the healthiest me there can be. They are encouraging, but we sure do work hard. And the hard work is paying off. I am down a couple of pounds, but honestly, who cares about the scale. I don’t. All I care about is being healthy, building muscle and stamina throughout my workouts so that it carries over into my daily life.

So I am that girl that is an Ava Anderson Non Toxic consultant. Just the words consultant also has you thinking and pondering I am sure, “what has she gotten into.”  Here is the difference in saying that I am a “consultant” and not that I am “selling” Ava Anderson products…  It is about the message… do the Ava Anderson products go along with the message yes, of course and that is why I am using them, but the things is, it is the message that is important for people to know. The message is about chemicals in our everyday products. You think they are safe, even the “clean products,” but once you start doing the research you realize it is far from it. I decided to become a consultant because of the message and the initiative the company is taking to make our world, us as human beings, and the products we use, safer, without all the harmful chemicals.

I knew that by writing this, I run the risk of judgment or questioning or wondering, or even doubt but here is the thing. My journey is to be the healthiest person I can be, not just for me, but for the people around me, the students I work with, my co-workers, my family, my friends, everyone. If I am not taking care of myself then how in the world can I influence the people around me. If I want to share the message of being healthy, and taking care of this body that was given to me by God, then I have to put action to it.

I am that girl, that has a message, that is not only ready to share, but to encourage.

I am that girl, that wants to make a difference, and I am proud of it.

Happy Birthday to me!

I love birthdays, not just mine, but everyone's birthdays! Might sound weird, but birthdays are a really big deal to me! I know for some, birthdays are just another year after you get a certain age, or it is just another day in the calendar. I almost got into that thinking this year, because to me it is a big year. It took me a little bit to admit it, but this is my last year in my 20's. Even now, I get a little nervous thinking about it. So I decided I needed to do something about this special year...

Birthdays to me are a special time to reflect and celebrate on the last year that was given to me or anyone. Some years can be more difficult than others, that is a fact that many of us have faced. But then there are some years that also were great! Regardless of the year, I can always look back and remember some very special and precious memories.

So where do I go from here... Well since this is my last year in my 20's, I decided that I would make a list of 30 things that I want to do or accomplish before I turn 30. I have been really thinking and reflecting on this for the last week, and I couldn't be happier with the list I came up with! My guess is you would like to read my list... well... here is the deal... I am not going to be posting my list, BUT once something is accomplished or checked off that list I will be blogging about it, to let you know how it happened, details, etc.

Honestly, I couldn't be more excited about this! Ever since I made my list I have felt centered, focused, and just really looking forward to this next year of life! I am looking forward to sharing my journey over the next year!

Happy Birthday to me!

So you think...

Sometimes you sit back and wonder, is it all worth it.

Everything I am going through is it all worth it,

Am I worth all of this.

I am here to tell you,

I am worth it.

Every ounce of unknowns and disappointments,

It doesn’t matter I am worth.

I am not perfect,

I will stumble and fall,

But the difference between you and me,

Is that I will become stronger through it all.

Don’t mistake my kindness and willingness

As a sign of weakness.

I am not weak, nothing about me is weak.

I know who I am,

I know where I belong.

My strength comes when you think I am done,

When you think you have gotten to me,

And used me.

Oh no, that is when my strength shines.

It comes out,

And then you step back and realize,

Oh I wish I had seen that before.

You may think you are right,

You may think you know me.

The truth is you don’t,

And you never will if you don’t try to.

It takes work,

It takes effort,

It takes a willingness to forgo yourself at times,

But the one thing I can promise is this…

It is worth it,

I am worth it…

And if you haven’t figured that out by now,

Then you never will.

And you know, that is ok,

Because not everyone will get it,

But then you appreciate those that do.

So again I say,

It is worth it,
I am worth it.


Always Going,
Never Giving Up,
Trusting,
Loving,
Believing

Moving from 2013 to 2014... Worth it?

2013- Honestly I can say that I am glad that it is over. There were and have been a lot of ups and downs, but more downs this past year. No need to go into all the details, because that would be like writing a book J… but trust me when I say, a lot more downs…

So what would any, shall we say, “positive” person write about then? Well of course the “what did I learn from all of this”… so here goes…

First- People are not who you think they are. People will look you in the face and say one thing, and turn around and do something or say something completely different.

Second- If you have ever said, “Oh, I would never do that,” then you need to really think about what you are saying. When it comes down to it, you never know the circumstances you will be put in that will require you to act in a way that you never thought was possible.

Third- No one has to live my life, I am the only one that does. People have their opinions and that is fine, but when it comes down to it, I am the only one living out my life daily and will be accountable for it in the end.

Fourth- Life isn’t what I thought it was going to be. Even without making plans, I guess I just thought that I would be in a different place at this point in my life in a lot of various areas. Not necessarily bad, just not what I thought.

Fifth (and probably most important)-

            I AM WORTH IT!


Always Going,
Never Giving Up,
Trusting,
Loving,
Believing

This is Absurd

This is Absurd!

I was given a link to an article about a "big 10 game" that is going peanut free, so that those with peanut allergies can enjoy going to a football game without the worries of having a reaction while there.

http://www.debbieschlussel.com/66513/absurd-big-ten-football-game-to-be-peanut-free-in-PC-deference-to-peanut-allergies/

The link is right above this... Feel free to read the article... Actually I want to encourage you to read the article before reading the rest of this blog post!


After reading the article, I read a couple of the comments below, and honestly had to start laughing. The whole thing is absurd...

1- it is absurd that people can be so insensitive to others that have food allergies, or for that matter for those that have any sort of disabilities.

2- it is absurd that people can write an article, and even comments, about something they really know nothing about.

3- it is absurd that there are kids and adults alike have food allergies, it isn't like any of us planned on having them, but we just have to deal with it.


Here is the bottom line... I can't say that I agree or disagree with this article. This is how this lady feels about a peanut free game, and she has every right to feel this way. How come she has to be restricted on something that doesn't affect her? Let's be honest... Are you insensitive to things that don't affect you? If you answered no, then you are lying to yourself, because we are all insensitive in someway to something that ends up messing things up for us. So who are we to judge her or anyone who feels this way.

I wonder if part of this had anything to do with people, parents, kids, who have put up such a stink to make sure that things happen in a way that makes it "normal" for them. My guess is, this lady has had some sort of interaction with someone with food allergies and it wasn't a pleasant one. We can all be guilty of pushing things on other people, and it can all be in the name of "doing what is best for our kids," "living a normal life or moment" "not having to worry," "being like everyone else." We are all selfish in our own way, wanting things to be "normal" for us.... And here is the deal... Everyone's normal looks different.

So what the heck am I saying? Is this lady right? No.... Are we right? Not necessarily...

At this point, some of you might think, how can you write about this topic or even give this article any of your time? Listen... I  have severe food allergies and have had them my entire life - before food allergies was even a thing... And not just one food allergy... But the top 4 categories of allergies (out of 8)... People, I have almost died from a reaction... I was subject to all of this before there was any kind of FDA restrictions, certain labeling, cross contamination, the works, so don't sit there reading this thinking that I don't understand your situation... Believe me when I say... Or don't believe me... But I get it a whole lot more than you will ever know. My parents didn't advocate for me to have all these specials things, or for all these people to bend over backwards for me. They did what they could to keep me safe, bring food to places we were going, etc, but I was treated like a normal everyday person, I just happen to also have food allergies. You ask my brothers, and they will tell you just the same thing... That was Aimee... She had to watch out for the things that she ate, but we didn't treat her any differently, she was just our sister. That's it... Now understand, I do know that there are people out there that are severely allergic to peanuts to the point that a simple smell will cause an allergic reaction (I know I have the smelling reaction as well). I am not saying that they shouldn't have peanut free games... I am all for them... I do think that it is great... But we all have to be realistic about living in society.... It isn't always going to be like that. I encountered many people, growing up who never got it, and were very insensitive to it, but guess what that is life... There are always going to be people like that.

I already know that many of you are probably ready to fire back with, well you don't know me or my child's situation... You are right, I don't, but then again, you have no idea what I went through or what my family went through without the internet or heck, even just having another family with food allergies to bounce ideas off of. It was just us dealing with it everyday. They paved the way for you... I paved the way for you... And I continue to, because I never grew out of my allergies... Why you ask... I don't know....

But sometimes I wonder, I just wonder, if it was the opportunity to write this.....

Never underestimate what someone around you has been through before you make judgements, either way... The fact is, I didn't want to live in a bubble, and I am glad that I continue to fight to live a normal life, while staying safe.... And not just living, but thriving! I sincerely hope that those with peanut allergies that are going to the game have a fantastic time, not having to worry... Believe when I say... I understand, and I am happy that they are doing that, but remember that life is never going to be fully like that, and well you just have to say ok, and continue on with an incredible journey of a lifetime living YOUR life!

Way too Long...

So it has been a really long time… WAY TOO LONG… since I have written a blog post. I have started many, but haven’t followed through with posting. But today I decided it was the day, and it is time to start blogging again!

Question you may ask? What in the world is going on in my life? Well, a lot!

Mostly it really has to do with work. Work and moving.

Work has been good, ended last year with a sweet group of kids, a lot of work, but I felt like overall they made great progress, and are ready to start a great year in Middle School this year.

At the end of May, toward the end of the school year, I found out the condo I was living in was sold, and that I had to move. I was able to find another condo closer to work. I am still getting settled, but overall I am enjoying the new place, learning new routes around the area, and the closer drive to work. I so loved living in the other place, and I will miss it, but I am so thankful for the time that I was able to be there, experience the quiet (yes quiet!) view of Atlanta, the business of the holidays and activities, and the independence and growing of myself personally.

Over the summer, I stayed extremely busy. When I say busy I mean busy. I think there was only 2 weeks in the whole summer that I didn’t have things to do.

In May I found out that I was accepted into a program that is offered to families of special needs in Georgia. It is called the GA PINES program. The PINES stands for Parent Infant Network for Educational Services. The purpose of this program is to provide early intervention services to infants and parents in their natural environment, like their home, to give the infants and parents as much support in living their lives as normally as possible. There isn’t anything normal about special needs persons, their lives are a challenge every day. I love that this program, starts early in the lives of these infants and their families to give them as much support as possible! To work with this program, I completed 2 weeks of trainings over the summer, with homework and home visits involved. It was a lot of work, but now that I have completed this, I am excited to be contracted through them as a Parent Advisor. Now I am still working at the same school in my teaching position, this is just on the side. A little over a month ago, I was given my first referral family. I have made one visit, and it went well. I will say that this new thing is going to be growing me a very personally way. I can’t imagine what these families go through on a daily basis. I only hope that I can be an encouragement to this family, and whatever families my come along my path.

I was also given the opportunity to speak to at a conference for the school system that I work with. The subject matter was on Specially Designed Instruction in special education setting. I really enjoyed the experience. I learned a lot, a whole lot. I was given some good feedback on the break out session that I did. I gave my presentation several times, and each time was with a new set of teachers, so it really kept me on my toes. I do hope that this is something I will have the opportunity to do again. It was my first time doing anything like that, and I will forever be thankful for the opportunity, no matter if it really does ever happen again.

Are you still reading? I know this is getting lengthy, so I will wrap it up soon.

Many of you have seen pictures and such on facebook or instagram of a certain guy and me together. Yes, that is my boyfriend, and his name is Kojo. He is someone that I am very proud of, and could not say enough amazing things about him. I am proud to stand by his side, as we have walked through some difficult things already together over the past year or more. Overall I am thankful for his mother. I wish I was able to meet her before her passing, but from what I know about her, Kojo is just like her. She raised him to be a respectable man, with an incredible heart. One day I will be able to thank her for her hard work all these years, and I greatly look forward to that day!

The start of another school year, and it has already been a rough one. I have some challenges that I am facing this year…. Ok… a lot of challenges. I really am trying to just take one day at a time. At this point that is all I can do. One day at a time… I think we all have those times in our lives when we have to do this, and well, this is one of those times.

I have lots of personally growing moments in my life right now, and I am thankful for them. Some days I am not as thankfully as others, but I am working really hard to be thankful, just for the simple fact that I know they are growing me more and more into the person that I was made to be.

I will leave with saying, more blogs to come… you will want to stay tuned… there is lots more to talk about in the very near future that you will not want to miss! J

Always Going,
Never Giving Up,
Trusting,
Loving,
Believing

2013 is already here!

2013 is here, already a month into it, and I cannot believe it. What will 2013 bring for you? What will it bring for me? Honestly, if it is anything like the last month, it is going to be a very crazy year. I cannot lie, it has been a rough start to the year. Nothing that I expected, but then again, life isn’t anything that we think it is going to be. We have dreams, we have hopes, we have wishes, and things we would like to happen, but the reality of life is, things happen and it is completely out of our control. What is in our control is this… attitude. We have to be willing to let go of what we think our lives are supposed to look like, and accept that we have incredible lives to live.

I have incredible friends, family, job, co-workers, and a very special person that I am very blessed to have in my life. I could focus on the things that didn’t happen in my life, or I could focus my attitude on the incredible life that I have been given to live. So for 2013, I will fall flat on my face in failure, I will walk a tight rope in what is right and wrong, and I will be given the strength to be able to rise above all of that and not only enjoy, but be humbled and blessed by every moment that comes along.

2013- Already living, already learning, already falling, already picking my self back up, already blessed, and already humbled. The way it should be! Here is to the year 2013!

Always Going,

Never Giving Up,

Trusting,

Loving,

Believing,

Aimee

An Incredible Opportunity

Something as terrible as shooting children is not just terrible, it is really unfathomable.  I have asked myself the question over the last 2 days, why someone would do this, but I know that no matter what is said we will never fully know.  I think that is what makes this so difficult, is the fact that we will never really know why. So where do we go from here?

I am not parent, but I am a teacher in an elementary school. I do not know what it feels like to lose my own child as a parent, but I know what it would feel like to lose a student from my class, and it is devastating. I know that I can speak for myself and my fellow co-workers when I say, we work long hours, we talk to you after the bell rings at 3 p.m., we listen and answer e-mails and text before the bell rings at 7:15 a.m., we prepare lessons that engage the students, we come up with activities that not only help the students learn, but are fun because we like to have fun, we think about your students after school, before school, weekends, and holidays. We know that the students’ home lives are sometimes terrible situations, and that school is their safe haven. We know that their meals sometimes just come from school, we know that the students come with very little sleep some nights and without homework, but really we do know all of that because we CARE. We care about our students from morning to night and everywhere in between. We have an incredibly difficult job, but it isn’t a job for us. We know that when we come to school the students are looking to us for stability, love, and opportunity to learn, and a sense that someone cares about them. I can speak for myself and everyone that I work with when I say that we care, more than anyone knows, we care.

I have felt incredibly burdened over the last 2 days about the whole situation. I know that something like this could happen in my classroom, you just never know. I know that come Monday my students are going to have lots of questions, and may want to know things that I can’t answer, but deep down, they are just wanting to know that they are safe.

So,

To Parents: Do not worry about sending your kids to school on Monday. Your students are cared for just like you would take care of them. We love them dearly, and would sacrifice anything to make sure that they were and are taken care of. When you are not there, we take on your role, and we know that it is a very important role, and we would never take that lightly.

To Students: We promise to you that not only will we help you learn, but we will keep you safe. We always have and we always will, because we CARE and LOVE you. You are each special, special children and gifts from God. School is your safe haven and we will always do our best to make it that. We are excited for you to come to school so that we can help teach you incredible things about life.

To Everyone: It is my hope and prayer that through all of this you are able to see the incredible job that each of us teachers have everyday. We are not just people that come in and decide that we are going to teach a lesson about adding, we teach life lessons, we solve problems, we give children hugs that may not have had a hug for days, we give children food when there may not be any around, we give them laughter when their home life is anything but, we give smiles, we give hope- hope that you can be anything that you want to be and we will help make that happen… because we love and care about each of our students. It is our job that helps make these children become doctors, lawyers, teachers, accountants, firefighters, physical therapists, and so much more.

So today and tonight, say a prayer for your child’s teachers, and for any teachers that you know. We are all burdened by this, and know that we have a great opportunity come Monday to calm nerves, quiet fears, and teach and love on children in a way that they need. We have an incredible “job” that we go to Monday-Friday because we care and will sacrifice to the very end.Something as terrible as shooting children is not just terrible, it is really unfathomable.  I have asked myself the question over the last 2 days, why someone would do this, but I know that no matter what is said we will never fully know.  I think that is what makes this so difficult, is the fact that we will never really know why. So where do we go from here?

I am not parent, but I am a teacher in an elementary school. I do not know what it feels like to lose my own child as a parent, but I know what it would feel like to lose a student from my class, and it is devastating. I know that I can speak for myself and my fellow co-workers when I say, we work long hours, we talk to you after the bell rings at 3 p.m., we listen and answer e-mails and text before the bell rings at 7:15 a.m., we prepare lessons that engage the students, we come up with activities that not only help the students learn, but are fun because we like to have fun, we think about your students after school, before school, weekends, and holidays. We know that the students’ home lives are sometimes terrible situations, and that school is their safe haven. We know that their meals sometimes just come from school, we know that the students come with very little sleep some nights and without homework, but really we do know all of that because we CARE. We care about our students from morning to night and everywhere in between. We have an incredibly difficult job, but it isn’t a job for us. We know that when we come to school the students are looking to us for stability, love, and opportunity to learn, and a sense that someone cares about them. I can speak for myself and everyone that I work with when I say that we care, more than anyone knows, we care.

I have felt incredibly burdened over the last 2 days about the whole situation. I know that something like this could happen in my classroom, you just never know. I know that come Monday my students are going to have lots of questions, and may want to know things that I can’t answer, but deep down, they are just wanting to know that they are safe.

So,

To Parents: Do not worry about sending your kids to school on Monday. Your students are cared for just like you would take care of them. We love them dearly, and would sacrifice anything to make sure that they were and are taken care of. When you are not there, we take on your role, and we know that it is a very important role, and we would never take that lightly.

To Students: We promise to you that not only will we help you learn, but we will keep you safe. We always have and we always will, because we CARE and LOVE you. You are each special, special children and gifts from God. School is your safe haven and we will always do our best to make it that. We are excited for you to come to school so that we can help teach you incredible things about life.

To Everyone: It is my hope and prayer that through all of this you are able to see the incredible job that each of us teachers have everyday. We are not just people that come in and decide that we are going to teach a lesson about adding, we teach life lessons, we solve problems, we give children hugs that may not have had a hug for days, we give children food when there may not be any around, we give them laughter when their home life is anything but, we give smiles, we give hope- hope that you can be anything that you want to be and we will help make that happen… because we love and care about each of our students. It is our job that helps make these children become doctors, lawyers, teachers, accountants, firefighters, physical therapists, and so much more.

So today and tonight, say a prayer for your child’s teachers, and for any teachers that you know. We are all burdened by this, and know that we have a great opportunity come Monday to calm nerves, quiet fears, and teach and love on children in a way that they need. We have an incredible “job” that we go to Monday-Friday because we care and will sacrifice to the very end.

So Close, Yet So Far

So Close, Yet So Far

We all go through times in our lives that we feel we are just spinning our wheels. When you look at those times, doesn’t it seem like that is when we have the most going on?

I don’t know about you, but I have felt like that many times… more times than I want to count. It seems like the times that I feel this way are when I know what I have to do, but it gets close to the end and I almost freeze. I am not sure what it is… fear, pressure, or something else. I think that maybe it is a little of all of it, but I think what it ultimately comes down to is the fear of the unknown. Now, understand I am not necessarily talking about everyday things that you have to accomplish, but the bigger goals and opportunities that come in life. I think we get close to finishing something, but in a way it just feels like it will never happen, or it will never be what we think it might be, so we just quit it.

Believe me when I say, that I am saying this, okay maybe screaming this, at myself right now. I know that I have some things in my life that I am so close to finishing, and I just have to put my mind to it. I think part of the reason that I stall is just the fear of the unknown of what will come next when the things that I have actually started end up finishing- Especially those potentially life changing things.

So here is to being so close, feeling so far, but knowing that all you and I need to do is finish strong. And most importantly, believe that there are incredible things in store once we think something is finishing… a new thing is always beginning... The funny thing is, the new beginning many times involves what we think is finishing.

Always Going,

Never Giving Up,

Trusting,

Loving,

Believing,

Aimee

Grateful 10-13

I had to go ahead and post my gratefulness for this week. My heart seems to be overflowing. To be honest, I was a little skeptical about this whole thing, but as the week went on, I realized that it has made me really stop and think about my day. Also to be thankful for not just the obvious things, but for things that I may have never stopped to be thankful for before.

Monday- soy chai latte from Starbucks (because it was a rough start to a Monday morning)

Tuesday- listening to Michael tell stories and annoying me over dinner

Wednesday- Weights (so I can work out! J)

Thursday- Unexpected gift of thoughtfulness

Friday- talks with my sweet co-worker

Saturday- laughter

Always Going

Never Giving Up,

Trusting,

Loving,

Believing,

Aimee

Grateful

Grateful...

I was flipping through channels today and came across an interview that Oprah was conducting with someone, that I honestly can say I have no idea who they were. I didn't watch long, but one thing that caught my attention was the fact that she talked about journaling. I am a huge fan of journaling, and wondered what she was going to say. She said that for awhile everyday she would write in her journal one thing that she was thankful for that day. It could have been a note, phone call, hug, kiss, or something simple like a particular food that turned out just how she liked it! I thought about this for a moment, and really, I know that people will do things like this during the thanksgiving season, but what if it was something that was started now.

I guess the reason that this really struck me was because I just feel like I have had a terrible out look on life recently. I know that I haven't had the greatest of attitudes, and well, I have had a good reason why, but it still doesn't change the fact that you can't stay there. You can't stay in that place. I can't stay in that place.

So I decided that this is something that I need to start doing. My life is not perfect, and well some days it would just be easier to complain, but I really need to think about the things that I am thankful for. I told my kids that there are low words and high words in my book, and I am thinking that thankful is a lower word, so I came across grateful... I think I will use grateful from here on out... Now lets be honest, I will not be doing this everyday, but I think that if I can keep track of things and update every week, it would really let me look back on each year of my life, especially during the hard times, and to see all the goodness going on in my life...

So to start I will list lots of things, just because I am kind of behind... :)

My new place,
the incredible view every night,
girl time,
being held in a way that lets you know that you are not alone,
A day full of nothing but hanging out,
laying by the pool,
a new family with the best little girl that I get to just be there for and understand what she is going through,
A job,
chinese food from publix right next to my new place!,
permanent reminders that there is a plan,
boxing gloves,
cool air,
washer and dryer,
brother time,
pillows,
exercise,
Oreos,
time,
the opportunity to be patient,
blankets,
writing,
teaching,
learning,
opportunity to make an impact,
loving on people,
family,
Friends,
Barbecues,
Transportation,
time at the beach,
opportunity to live life

Yes, this is a lot, but I felt that I was a month behind, so there are 30 for the past 30 days, and one extra for today...

Always Going
Never Giving Up,
Trusting,
Loving,
Believing,

Aimee

I have no choice but to be...

I have no choice but to be...

There are many definitions of "be," but one of the ones that stuck out to me is "to maintain a place." Maintaining a place is not an easy thing to do, especially when so much is going on around you. To be in a position where you just have to be patient, yes I did say that dreaded word.... Patient... Is difficult! Having patience in different situations is, well, let's just put it this way.... I thought I was a patient person, and then I started teaching special education children, and I learned a whole new meaning of the word patience. I learn so much from my students everyday. Some days more than I wanted to know, haha. One of the main reasons I love my job, is the kids. They have no choice in how they were formed. They have and deal with disabilities on a daily basis. Someways are good, someways are bad, but you just have to learn from all the struggles and work through them.

Now that I have been teaching for several years, I actually have kids that are starting their final year in middle school. That is hard to believe that I had them in my class 3 years ago, but it has been that long! I have the pleasure of tutoring one of my kids from my very first class, this year, and it is neat to see how much he has grown. I am so proud of how hard he is working and advocating for himself. He most definitely struggled, and has to work hard even now, but whenever I come he is always willing to work with me, even when he doesn't feel like it. None of the credit goes to me, I just get the pleasure of seeing this boy grow up and realize that he is going to have limitations, but he is not going to let that stop him. He could say, well I have these limitations, but no, there are no more excuses, it is his education, but more importantly it is his life. It excites me to see the spark of believing this in him! He is going to have to work harder than his friends, he may not pass everything, but the most important thing is that he works as hard as he can with where he is and what he is able to do. I can already see how just him having this mind set is making a huge difference in him- being open to new strategies of learning, and just listening. His life will never be easy, but the awesome thing is that we get to celebrate all of those little moments, even a new font that one of his friends said may help him with reading. Yes, we get excited about font, and it is an awesome thing to get excited about! He has no choice to be in a place that he will struggle, but what he does have a choice in is his attitude and how he faces the struggles.

Know that I am not saying that maintain your place means you can't move or you are stuck. Sometimes you do have the choice to move and start something new, and if that is you right now, then I want to encourage you to go after it. What I am referring to is the situations that you have no control over and you just have to "maintain your place."

I have said the title of this blog several times, even just as recently as a couple of days ago. There are things that happen in life that are out of my control, and some things that are. The bottom line is I have no choice but to be... I have no choice but to maintain my place, doing the best I can with every situation that I face. What I have the choice in is my attitude and how I use it to help me grow and learn. Growing pains are not easy.... Learning sometimes involved doing it the hard way. It seems to me that many times in my life I have had to go through these growing pains-sadness, broken heart, hurt, disappointments, and so much more- but in the end I have no choice but to be, and to know that there is a bigger plan than even I realize. I believe that God has a plan, and I believe that everything happens for a reason, and that it will be ok.

Always Going

Never Giving Up

Trusting 

Loving

Believing,

Aimee

Tv show

It is amazing to me what happens in life that we least expect. Sometimes we expect certain things, and other times things hit us like a ton of bricks. I have been part of an organization that educates the community and schools about food allergies. It is called food allergy kids of Atlanta.  The organization was started by a sweet lady named Karen Harris. She is an amazing individual who seeks to educate everyone about the severity of food allergies and how everyone should know about them, nd be able to recognize the signs, should someone have an allergic reaction. I am excited to say that I volunteer with this awesome organization!

I have had to keep this secret for several months now, but Karen was nominated to be on a show called Great American Heroes. I was asked to give an interview and be part of the experience, and let me tell you, it was awesome! I got to meet the host, Trace Adkins, in person, meet his wife and daughter, who also has food allergies, go to a concert, and meet a whole bunch of other awesome people. The entire experience was one that I will never forget, and I am so proud of what the show represents and who it recognizes.

For me it was an interesting time to be even interviewed....my interview want on the show, but the coolest part for me is that I know what I said, I know that it was a big deal, and I am so blessed to be able to share in telling any part of my story through other avenues, even ones that we never expect.

I am looking forward to many more awesome opportunities with this organization, no matter how many times I get nervous about saying anything about my food allergies, I still know that I have them for a reason, and any time that I get to be part of a bigger picture, it is awesome!

So, I hope that you will watch the tv show, because Karen is doing an amazing thing, and I am thankful to be a very small part in this bigger picture.

Always Going

Never Giving Up

Trusting 

Loving

Believing,

Aimee

Circle

I wrote this many years ago, but I was reading back through several journals this morning, and came across this. I was really struggling at the time with so many different things going on in my life. It is interesting that even during that time, I knew that it was going to be ok, and there was a plan, even though I didn't understand it, and even now sometimes I don't understand it. 

"It's all around me.
They tell me keep going, keep going
So I press on
When all I want is for it to go away.
My dreams, my desires
How can I 'be strong' when they keep fading away?

It's like a circle,
a never ending circle.
Be strong
Be courageous
But I'm afraid
But I despair
A never ending circle.

How do I tell them?
How do I explain?
God loves me,
I know that.
But it hurts,
I cry out.
And nothing else is said.

What now?
Where do I go?
I have been crying out.
My strength can no longer hold me up.
And in a quiet whisper God says,
'Be still, my child, be still.'

My circle is broken
By God's mighty strength

But it has been repaired
By his omnipotent hand.

No need for fear
No need for despair
'My strength is enough
Be still and trust in me.'

~May 2006

More to come with what I wrote, but for now, take time to think about your circle that continues to go around and around. What is it, what do you need to do? Is there something you can do?

Don't worry, there is hope, and a strength that is bigger than you and I!

Always Going

Never Giving Up

Trusting 

Loving

Believing,

Aimee

Moving On

Amazing what can happen in one summer, especially when you least expect it! I have looked at places to move for about a year now, but nothing seemed to work out. With such a crazy school year last year, moving was not on the top of my priority list. An opportunity came up for me to possibly move at the beginning of the summer. At first, I really didn't think it would work out... it honestly felt too good to be true!
I can't tell you what it was, but as soon as I thought about moving to this place, I just knew that it was going to happen. I really can't tell you why or how, I just knew.
I remember going to the beach with my friend Brooke for my annual family beach trip (Brooke is part of the family now!), and I told Brooke that I was going to tell her that I was moving, but no one else, and see how I felt at the end of the trip. She started laughing... I think she was laughing cause she knew that I had already made up my mind, but she just went along with it! :)
When I left the trip, we got in the car, and I just said "I'm moving!" She laughed and said ok! :)
Of course, and I should have known then, it wasn't just that easy. When going through those hoops, I remember telling my friend Diana, "if it was just that easy, it wouldn't be worth it." 2 days later, and in a 24 hour time my room was packed, the uhaul was packed up, and everything was moved into my new place!

I am incredibly thankful for the opportunity to move to Buckhead. Really? Me, Buckhead? There are many mornings and nights that I look out the window and think, how in the world did this happen? Am I really living here? It feels like a dream, and in many ways it is. A dream in the fact that I have seen these buildings growing up, I have lived in Atlanta my entire life, and you see places like this and think, wow wouldn't that be cool if I could live in a place like this! Well it is happening right now, and some days it still hasn't sunk in.
All I can say, is that this is moving on... moving on into a new life full of experiences, growth, trials, and so much more! The phrase, "moving on" I feel sometimes has a negative connotation. I think most of the time, it is because the situation surrounding it, is negative, but when we actually think about moving on, no matter what the situation is, we should think of it as an opportunity to trust that God knows what he is doing, and will give you everything you need to not only survive, but thrive in a crazy world!
Moving on for me is a bittersweet thing- I have always lived with my family, and will miss seeing them all the time, but that just means we have to be more "on purpose" in seeing and talking with each other. I question, can I do this, can I live on my own? Is it safe? Can I manage my money well? Will I take advantage of every opportunity? Will I be able to continue my work out journey that I have been on? So many thoughts and questions, but all I know is that I am so thankful for the opportunity that was never even a thought in my mind. I am blessed to have such an incredible family allow me to have this opportunity. I am blessed to have incredible friends and family that have supported me through this, right on down to my Grandmother who went shopping for pots, pan, and all the essentials!

"Moving on" means-  full of hope, opportunity, and an incredible way to step out of our boxes, and trust the guidance in the next steps in the journey of our lives.

Always Going

Never Giving Up

Trusting 

Loving

Believing,

Aimee

Making Connections

So many choices to make in life. We do the best we can, but the bottom line is we are all human, and we will never make all the perfect choices. We start things, we finish things, but I think a majority of the time we are somewhere in between. Somewhere in between is scary for me, because I feel like it is the unknown. The unknown is not somewhere that I like to be, because I like to plan things out. Anyone that knows me, knows that I am a planner, bottom line. :) Of course I do love surprises, but I also like to know what is going on. I don't know about you, but my life doesn't work like that, ever! Life works something like this... 

Ok, never mind, I don't have a clue. I am along for the ride, just like everyone else. :)

Those in between times can be scary for sure, but I am finding that during these times are when I learn and grow the most. During these times, there are connections that are made, that I would have never seen before if I had just gone from start to finish. 

As much as I can be a task oriented person and want to get to that finish line as quickly as possible, I am realizing that it isn't all about the finish line. I think the in between times make me stop, so I can see more of the big picture through all of the small things. The small things in life make up the big picture.

So for today, I am choosing to stop and be appreciative of the in between times... appreciative for the growth and the opportunity to make connections in life. 

Always Going

Never Giving Up

Trusting 

Loving

Believing,

Aimee