So Close, Yet So Far

So Close, Yet So Far

We all go through times in our lives that we feel we are just spinning our wheels. When you look at those times, doesn’t it seem like that is when we have the most going on?

I don’t know about you, but I have felt like that many times… more times than I want to count. It seems like the times that I feel this way are when I know what I have to do, but it gets close to the end and I almost freeze. I am not sure what it is… fear, pressure, or something else. I think that maybe it is a little of all of it, but I think what it ultimately comes down to is the fear of the unknown. Now, understand I am not necessarily talking about everyday things that you have to accomplish, but the bigger goals and opportunities that come in life. I think we get close to finishing something, but in a way it just feels like it will never happen, or it will never be what we think it might be, so we just quit it.

Believe me when I say, that I am saying this, okay maybe screaming this, at myself right now. I know that I have some things in my life that I am so close to finishing, and I just have to put my mind to it. I think part of the reason that I stall is just the fear of the unknown of what will come next when the things that I have actually started end up finishing- Especially those potentially life changing things.

So here is to being so close, feeling so far, but knowing that all you and I need to do is finish strong. And most importantly, believe that there are incredible things in store once we think something is finishing… a new thing is always beginning... The funny thing is, the new beginning many times involves what we think is finishing.

Always Going,

Never Giving Up,

Trusting,

Loving,

Believing,

Aimee

Grateful 10-13

I had to go ahead and post my gratefulness for this week. My heart seems to be overflowing. To be honest, I was a little skeptical about this whole thing, but as the week went on, I realized that it has made me really stop and think about my day. Also to be thankful for not just the obvious things, but for things that I may have never stopped to be thankful for before.

Monday- soy chai latte from Starbucks (because it was a rough start to a Monday morning)

Tuesday- listening to Michael tell stories and annoying me over dinner

Wednesday- Weights (so I can work out! J)

Thursday- Unexpected gift of thoughtfulness

Friday- talks with my sweet co-worker

Saturday- laughter

Always Going

Never Giving Up,

Trusting,

Loving,

Believing,

Aimee

Grateful

Grateful...

I was flipping through channels today and came across an interview that Oprah was conducting with someone, that I honestly can say I have no idea who they were. I didn't watch long, but one thing that caught my attention was the fact that she talked about journaling. I am a huge fan of journaling, and wondered what she was going to say. She said that for awhile everyday she would write in her journal one thing that she was thankful for that day. It could have been a note, phone call, hug, kiss, or something simple like a particular food that turned out just how she liked it! I thought about this for a moment, and really, I know that people will do things like this during the thanksgiving season, but what if it was something that was started now.

I guess the reason that this really struck me was because I just feel like I have had a terrible out look on life recently. I know that I haven't had the greatest of attitudes, and well, I have had a good reason why, but it still doesn't change the fact that you can't stay there. You can't stay in that place. I can't stay in that place.

So I decided that this is something that I need to start doing. My life is not perfect, and well some days it would just be easier to complain, but I really need to think about the things that I am thankful for. I told my kids that there are low words and high words in my book, and I am thinking that thankful is a lower word, so I came across grateful... I think I will use grateful from here on out... Now lets be honest, I will not be doing this everyday, but I think that if I can keep track of things and update every week, it would really let me look back on each year of my life, especially during the hard times, and to see all the goodness going on in my life...

So to start I will list lots of things, just because I am kind of behind... :)

My new place,
the incredible view every night,
girl time,
being held in a way that lets you know that you are not alone,
A day full of nothing but hanging out,
laying by the pool,
a new family with the best little girl that I get to just be there for and understand what she is going through,
A job,
chinese food from publix right next to my new place!,
permanent reminders that there is a plan,
boxing gloves,
cool air,
washer and dryer,
brother time,
pillows,
exercise,
Oreos,
time,
the opportunity to be patient,
blankets,
writing,
teaching,
learning,
opportunity to make an impact,
loving on people,
family,
Friends,
Barbecues,
Transportation,
time at the beach,
opportunity to live life

Yes, this is a lot, but I felt that I was a month behind, so there are 30 for the past 30 days, and one extra for today...

Always Going
Never Giving Up,
Trusting,
Loving,
Believing,

Aimee

I have no choice but to be...

I have no choice but to be...

There are many definitions of "be," but one of the ones that stuck out to me is "to maintain a place." Maintaining a place is not an easy thing to do, especially when so much is going on around you. To be in a position where you just have to be patient, yes I did say that dreaded word.... Patient... Is difficult! Having patience in different situations is, well, let's just put it this way.... I thought I was a patient person, and then I started teaching special education children, and I learned a whole new meaning of the word patience. I learn so much from my students everyday. Some days more than I wanted to know, haha. One of the main reasons I love my job, is the kids. They have no choice in how they were formed. They have and deal with disabilities on a daily basis. Someways are good, someways are bad, but you just have to learn from all the struggles and work through them.

Now that I have been teaching for several years, I actually have kids that are starting their final year in middle school. That is hard to believe that I had them in my class 3 years ago, but it has been that long! I have the pleasure of tutoring one of my kids from my very first class, this year, and it is neat to see how much he has grown. I am so proud of how hard he is working and advocating for himself. He most definitely struggled, and has to work hard even now, but whenever I come he is always willing to work with me, even when he doesn't feel like it. None of the credit goes to me, I just get the pleasure of seeing this boy grow up and realize that he is going to have limitations, but he is not going to let that stop him. He could say, well I have these limitations, but no, there are no more excuses, it is his education, but more importantly it is his life. It excites me to see the spark of believing this in him! He is going to have to work harder than his friends, he may not pass everything, but the most important thing is that he works as hard as he can with where he is and what he is able to do. I can already see how just him having this mind set is making a huge difference in him- being open to new strategies of learning, and just listening. His life will never be easy, but the awesome thing is that we get to celebrate all of those little moments, even a new font that one of his friends said may help him with reading. Yes, we get excited about font, and it is an awesome thing to get excited about! He has no choice to be in a place that he will struggle, but what he does have a choice in is his attitude and how he faces the struggles.

Know that I am not saying that maintain your place means you can't move or you are stuck. Sometimes you do have the choice to move and start something new, and if that is you right now, then I want to encourage you to go after it. What I am referring to is the situations that you have no control over and you just have to "maintain your place."

I have said the title of this blog several times, even just as recently as a couple of days ago. There are things that happen in life that are out of my control, and some things that are. The bottom line is I have no choice but to be... I have no choice but to maintain my place, doing the best I can with every situation that I face. What I have the choice in is my attitude and how I use it to help me grow and learn. Growing pains are not easy.... Learning sometimes involved doing it the hard way. It seems to me that many times in my life I have had to go through these growing pains-sadness, broken heart, hurt, disappointments, and so much more- but in the end I have no choice but to be, and to know that there is a bigger plan than even I realize. I believe that God has a plan, and I believe that everything happens for a reason, and that it will be ok.

Always Going

Never Giving Up

Trusting 

Loving

Believing,

Aimee

Tv show

It is amazing to me what happens in life that we least expect. Sometimes we expect certain things, and other times things hit us like a ton of bricks. I have been part of an organization that educates the community and schools about food allergies. It is called food allergy kids of Atlanta.  The organization was started by a sweet lady named Karen Harris. She is an amazing individual who seeks to educate everyone about the severity of food allergies and how everyone should know about them, nd be able to recognize the signs, should someone have an allergic reaction. I am excited to say that I volunteer with this awesome organization!

I have had to keep this secret for several months now, but Karen was nominated to be on a show called Great American Heroes. I was asked to give an interview and be part of the experience, and let me tell you, it was awesome! I got to meet the host, Trace Adkins, in person, meet his wife and daughter, who also has food allergies, go to a concert, and meet a whole bunch of other awesome people. The entire experience was one that I will never forget, and I am so proud of what the show represents and who it recognizes.

For me it was an interesting time to be even interviewed....my interview want on the show, but the coolest part for me is that I know what I said, I know that it was a big deal, and I am so blessed to be able to share in telling any part of my story through other avenues, even ones that we never expect.

I am looking forward to many more awesome opportunities with this organization, no matter how many times I get nervous about saying anything about my food allergies, I still know that I have them for a reason, and any time that I get to be part of a bigger picture, it is awesome!

So, I hope that you will watch the tv show, because Karen is doing an amazing thing, and I am thankful to be a very small part in this bigger picture.

Always Going

Never Giving Up

Trusting 

Loving

Believing,

Aimee

Circle

I wrote this many years ago, but I was reading back through several journals this morning, and came across this. I was really struggling at the time with so many different things going on in my life. It is interesting that even during that time, I knew that it was going to be ok, and there was a plan, even though I didn't understand it, and even now sometimes I don't understand it. 

"It's all around me.
They tell me keep going, keep going
So I press on
When all I want is for it to go away.
My dreams, my desires
How can I 'be strong' when they keep fading away?

It's like a circle,
a never ending circle.
Be strong
Be courageous
But I'm afraid
But I despair
A never ending circle.

How do I tell them?
How do I explain?
God loves me,
I know that.
But it hurts,
I cry out.
And nothing else is said.

What now?
Where do I go?
I have been crying out.
My strength can no longer hold me up.
And in a quiet whisper God says,
'Be still, my child, be still.'

My circle is broken
By God's mighty strength

But it has been repaired
By his omnipotent hand.

No need for fear
No need for despair
'My strength is enough
Be still and trust in me.'

~May 2006

More to come with what I wrote, but for now, take time to think about your circle that continues to go around and around. What is it, what do you need to do? Is there something you can do?

Don't worry, there is hope, and a strength that is bigger than you and I!

Always Going

Never Giving Up

Trusting 

Loving

Believing,

Aimee

Moving On

Amazing what can happen in one summer, especially when you least expect it! I have looked at places to move for about a year now, but nothing seemed to work out. With such a crazy school year last year, moving was not on the top of my priority list. An opportunity came up for me to possibly move at the beginning of the summer. At first, I really didn't think it would work out... it honestly felt too good to be true!
I can't tell you what it was, but as soon as I thought about moving to this place, I just knew that it was going to happen. I really can't tell you why or how, I just knew.
I remember going to the beach with my friend Brooke for my annual family beach trip (Brooke is part of the family now!), and I told Brooke that I was going to tell her that I was moving, but no one else, and see how I felt at the end of the trip. She started laughing... I think she was laughing cause she knew that I had already made up my mind, but she just went along with it! :)
When I left the trip, we got in the car, and I just said "I'm moving!" She laughed and said ok! :)
Of course, and I should have known then, it wasn't just that easy. When going through those hoops, I remember telling my friend Diana, "if it was just that easy, it wouldn't be worth it." 2 days later, and in a 24 hour time my room was packed, the uhaul was packed up, and everything was moved into my new place!

I am incredibly thankful for the opportunity to move to Buckhead. Really? Me, Buckhead? There are many mornings and nights that I look out the window and think, how in the world did this happen? Am I really living here? It feels like a dream, and in many ways it is. A dream in the fact that I have seen these buildings growing up, I have lived in Atlanta my entire life, and you see places like this and think, wow wouldn't that be cool if I could live in a place like this! Well it is happening right now, and some days it still hasn't sunk in.
All I can say, is that this is moving on... moving on into a new life full of experiences, growth, trials, and so much more! The phrase, "moving on" I feel sometimes has a negative connotation. I think most of the time, it is because the situation surrounding it, is negative, but when we actually think about moving on, no matter what the situation is, we should think of it as an opportunity to trust that God knows what he is doing, and will give you everything you need to not only survive, but thrive in a crazy world!
Moving on for me is a bittersweet thing- I have always lived with my family, and will miss seeing them all the time, but that just means we have to be more "on purpose" in seeing and talking with each other. I question, can I do this, can I live on my own? Is it safe? Can I manage my money well? Will I take advantage of every opportunity? Will I be able to continue my work out journey that I have been on? So many thoughts and questions, but all I know is that I am so thankful for the opportunity that was never even a thought in my mind. I am blessed to have such an incredible family allow me to have this opportunity. I am blessed to have incredible friends and family that have supported me through this, right on down to my Grandmother who went shopping for pots, pan, and all the essentials!

"Moving on" means-  full of hope, opportunity, and an incredible way to step out of our boxes, and trust the guidance in the next steps in the journey of our lives.

Always Going

Never Giving Up

Trusting 

Loving

Believing,

Aimee